Talk To Me, I Can Feel You Falling
by ILUVGREYS-101
Summary: "We are bound by are choices, but we are more than our mistakes."  -Kate Beckett     Andy learns that you can't be 'fine' all of the time which forces her to make a choice, Sam or Luke.
1. Chapter 1

Andy and Sam

Chapter 1

Andy was dancing around her house, well her and Luke's house, singing while vaccuming. She couldn't stop thinking about the shooting two days ago. She couldn't stop thinking about Kate or the way Sam grabber her face behind the communications truck. If that kid hadn't shown up would he have kissed her? She wished she could stop thinking about him but he was like this fly that wouldn't go away and a part of her didn't want him too. She knew it was bad to think like that. Especially since Luke was away for two weeks with his dad and brothers, he had said something about mountains and fishing and time to bond with his family, leaving Andy all by herself for two weeks. She heard this loud bang and went to see what it was, Then she felt it, she felt what she though was a baseball bat collide with her head and everything went black.

Meanwhile Sam was at the barn, he had just finished up his paperwork when he realized Andy had left her phone on her desk. Damn. He had to take it to her, she would't be back for three days because she was off. He didn't want to go up there and see the freakin' house Callaghan bought for the freakin' girl he was in love with, this day just keeps getiing freakin' better and better.

He knocked on Andy's door once. No answer. Again, no answer. He shook the door knob to see that it was open. He walked in and looked around, no Andy. He saw the vaccum laying on the floor, still plugged up. That was odd, he continued down the hallway, stopping to look in each of the rooms.

"Andy" he called out, "Andy, it's Sam" he called again, still no answer. Then he heard it, it was a faint moan coming from the back bedroom. He walked in only to see Andy lying on the bed, bruised without clothes.

"Andy, what happened?" he called out as he grabbedn a blanket to cover saw a single tear streaming down her face. "Andy, shh, it's okay." he rubbed her arm in soothing circles.

"Sam, what happened? I don't remember..." the tears were more frequent now. She started to sit up but he layed her back down.

"Andy, no. Stay down," he said trying his best to keep the blanket over her. He saw there was blood on her pillow. "Andy, you're bleeding." he said as he turned her head to see a gash on the back of her head.

She dried her eyes and sat up, feeling a bit stronger. 'I'm fine Sam, I just need a shower and a bandage." she said trying again to get up.

"Andy, we have to take you to the hospital, you need stitches in the back of your head and I think.." Sam trailed off. He couldn't say it, the thought of it just made him want to throw up. "I think you were raped." he finished

"I'm fine, really, thank you for coming but I don't need to go to the hospital." She declared, pulling the blanket up around her more.

"Look we can go to a hospital farther away so it doesn't get back to the station but either way were going. You have to report this Andy. You don't want it to happen to someone else, do you?" he aked holding her hand and rubbing soothing circles on her palm.

"No," her voice was shaky and he could see the tears welling up in her eyes. "I want to go to a hospital farther away. I don't want anybody at the station to know. Please Sam, you have to promise." she asked.

He pulled her in to his chest. "I promise, I promise. Do you want me to call Callaghan?" he asked, damn it Callaghan shouldn't even be in this. Sam wanted her all to his self.

"No, no, I don't want him here and even if I did, he wouldn't answer because there's no cell phone reception in the woods or wherever he went. I don't know." She started to stand to put on clothes but she felt dizzy.

"Okay, sit back down." he told her. "Where are your t-shirts?" he asked

"Top drawer" she answered. He silently got up and pulled a green short sleeve t-shirt from her drawer. He walked back over and handed it to her. He turned around while she slipped it over her head.

"Do you see my panties anywhere?" she asked. He looked around to see a pair of black lacy panties lying on the other side of the bed, ripped.

"There ripped." he declared, He looked as her face fell and she took a deep breath.

"okay, can you hand me another pair, there in the bottom drawer and then a pair of jeans in the second to last drawer." she said, her voice was still shaky.

He grabbed the clothes and handed them to her and then turned asround while she put them on. "Okay, you ready?" he asked, she nodded.

When they arrived at the hospital Sam showed them his badge and they told him to fill out the paper work and as soon ans he was done they would take her back. He didn't want Andy to have to sit in the waiting room very long. He filled out the necessary paper work, stopping only to ask Andy the questions he didn't know the answers too. When he was finished he handed the nurse the paperwork and they called Andy back.

"Hi Miss Mcnally, my name is Sandra, i'm going to be your nurse. I need you to undress and put on this gown so the doctor can examine you." she handed Andy a paper gown and left the room.

"Sam, I don't think I can do this." she said as tears began to fall.

"Hey," he pulled her face into his hands , similar to when she was shot. "You have to be strong, I know you can do this and i'm right here okay? I'm not going to leave you Andy. You can get through this. I know you can." he wiped the tears from her face.

"Okay" she replied,sam walked outide and pulled the curtain so she could undress. Giving her a few minutes before walking back in and resuming his place by her bedside. About ten minutes later, a short, blonde haired woman walked in. She looked to be about forty and seemed like she had been doing this for a while.

"Hi Miss Mcnally, my name is Dr. Holtz and i'm going to be examining you today. How are you feeling?" she asked, sitting on the little round stool at the bottom of the bed.

"Fine" she answered solemly, the woman scribbled down some notes before looking at Sam.

"And you are?" she gestured his way.

He stuck his hand out to shake hers, "Sam Swarek," he relpied.

"Okay, well Miss Mcnally, it says here you believe you were raped?" she asked

Andy flinched, she hated that word. it made her sound like such a victim. She couldn't even protect her self, how was she suppost to protect others. She just wanted to crawl up in a corner and sleep. "Yes mam, I believe so." she answered

"Okay, well we will need to exmaine you and stich up that head laseration," the woam began to move around and gather supplies. Andy could see she was grabbing stirrups and all kinds of cotton swab and a suture kit. "Okay, can you put your feet in these," she asked gesturing to the stirrups.

"I'll wait outside, okay?" Sam asked standing up before Andy grabbed his hand.

"Stay, please Sam. Don't leave." she called out.

"Okay," he grasped her hand and turned his head the other way so that Andy wouldn't see the tears threatening to spill over. He swallowed the lump in his throat and rubbed small circles on her hand. The doctor started the exam, gathering the her things; she explained to Andy what she was going to do. "Okay Miss Mcnally, i'm going to use these tools to examine you. It might be a bit uncomfortable." she explained.

Andy sighed and swalloed more tears, she knew from T.V shows that this could possibly hurt or there could be damage. Why did this have to happen to her? Why wasn't Luke here with her instead of Sam? Wait that was because she asked Sam not to call Luke. Why did she do that? Because Luke was out playing boy scout and truth be told she really didn't want him here. He would pretend she was fine and make her put on a brave face. With Sam she could just be herself, she didn't have to pretend or be someone she wasn't. Wait, two weeks ago she was dancing in her kitchen, telling Luke how happy she was. Alot had changed in those two weeks, the shooting with Kate, Sam almost leaving with guns and gangs which is still undecided and now the attack. Two weeks. Everything changed. It seemed like she had just blinked and everything she thought she had was slipping away.

She snapped out of ther thoughts when she felt pressure."Ow," she exclaimed. Sam's hand tightened around hers.

"I'm sorry, I know that's uncomfortable but I have to do that to get the right specimen." she explained.

She felt the tears start to come again, she closed her eyes but when she did she saw everything that had happened just a few hours ago. She snapped her eyes back open.

Sam looked at her,"I'm fine" she said as if reading his mind. Soon after that the doctor announced she was finished. Andy put her legs down and about an hour later someone came in to stich up her head.

Sam announced he would be right back. "Officer,"he called out. He wal looking at a uniformed cop of the twenty third division. "Sam Swarek, Toronto PD," he flashed his badge. "Look I know that your taking Andy Mcnally's statement and I was hoping you could do me a favor. Look we both know that if this gets back to her division they will take her gun and stick her behind a desk. She's not a desk cop. Andy is strong and she doesn't need a shrink or a counselor to tell her when she can have her gun back or how she can work past this." he paused to catch his breathe, he had to defend her. She couldn't loose her gun. That would devastate her. "I know she can, she just needs time. I was hoping that you could keep in quiet, I promise I will make sure she takes time off an doesn't get back on the streets until she's ready." he explained. Please let this cop be a good guy, please let his understand.

"Of course man, I completely understand. Is she your girlfriend?"Sam breathed a sigh of relief and the paused at the nest question.

He stuttered,"With Mcnally, it's..."he paused he didn't know how to answer. Andy was what to him. They had crossed the partner line and friends don't do what they did during the blackout. So what did that make her? His lover gone wrong, the girl he gets with when her boyfriends away. He didn't know what they were but they were much more than either was willing to let on. "It's complicated" he finished. The officer smirked, giving him a knowing smile.

"Thanks man" Sam said before walking away and back into Mcnally's room.

He walked up and stroked her hair. She gave hima faint smile. "How ya doing?" he asked.

"I'm fine, really." she tried to convince but they both knew he wasn't buying it.

They told Andy that she was free to go, she gathered her things and made her way to Sam's truck. When they reached her house she just sat there. Sam put the truck in park and looked at her.

"Andy, what is it?" he asked, he knew that look. Something was bothering her. It was the same look she had the night of the black out, when Kate was shot , the mermaid lounge when she thought he was dead. He knew that look ver well.

"I can't go back in there." she stated, swallowing tears. "I just need you to take me to a motel or the station and i'll sleep there. i just can't go back in there yet." she said, her voice was still shaky. he couldn't let her go back to the station, everyone would relaize something was wrong abd he couldn't ship her off to a motel. She would stay with him, he knew she would fight it but he had to take care of her.

"You can stay with me Mcnally." he offered. Stay with Sam, no she couldn't that would be a very bad idea.

"Sam I can't do that, really, I'm fine." she put on her brave face and tried her best to convince him again but he wasn't going to back down.

He put the car in reverse. "I'm not taking no for an answer. You're staying with me."


	2. Chapter 2

Andy and Sam

Chapter 2

"Sam, this is beautiful." she saud as she walked in his house. It was two stories with a open kitchen and living room with a beautiful fireplace. It was very Sam esque. Dark and modern but suprisingly warm.

"Well, when I bought it it needed a lot of work but i've worked on it for several years and then Sarah helped me decorate and this was the outcome. " he said

"It's beautiful." she stated again. Sam looked at her. She looked so lost and jaded. He could still see the tears stains from the hospital visit. Almost all of her make-up was smeared and stained on her face. She had some of Sam's old spare work clothes on and her hair was tied in a messy knot on the top of her head. Sam thought she could never look more fragile but beautiful.

"Andy, we have to talk about this. " Sam gardually approached the subject as he put her stuff down. That's whe he could see her stiffen and a look of panic written across her face.

"Sam, I told you. it's really no problem for me to stay at Traci's or.."

He cut her off, "I don't mean that Andy," he used her first name. He only did that when he was scared for her life or if she was crying. He pulled her over to the couch and sat her down.

"I mean, you have to tell someone other than me. What are you going to tell Luke? He's going to come back and wonder why your staying with me. And I have to tell Frank something about you not coming to work." he stated.

"You can't tell anyone. Please Sam, you have to promise me. Please" she was begging and he could see the tears start again. Then she was sobbing hysterically. Oh gosh, what had he done?

"Andy" he tried to pull her against him but she stiffened. "Andy sweetheart, don't cry." he soothed her by rubbing circles on her back and eventually she sank into his arms.

"Shh, it's okay." he tried to keep her calm and eventually the tears stopped.

She looked at the huge stain she left on his shirt. "Dammit, i'm sorry" she repied.

"Hey" he cupped her face,"It's okay" he said.

"So how about some hot chocolate. I'll even add some marshmallows." he tried a faint smile and she sniled back.

"Sam Swarek, who would have thought you were a marshmallow kind of guy." he smiled.

"There's alot you don't know about me." he said before heading to the kitchen and fixing there hot chocolate.

He came back with two mugs of the steaming liquid and then started a fire and turned the T.V on.

"Any preferences?", she shook her head. Sam was suprised when she took the blanket off the top of the couch and curled into him to watch the movie. Sam thought about all the things they had yet to face. Luke. Work. Sleeping Arrangements. Rape.

"Sam," he looeked down to her in the crook of his side. "I can't go back there and I know Luke's going to be back in two days but I just can't and i can't tell him." she confessed.

"Andy, Luke is your boyfriend you have to tell him." Sam stated.

"I can't, I just can't." In a way Sam felt privledged that she was the one he trusted with this information. He felt like this was a new level in their relationship. "I also have to go back to work in two days. I can't tell Frank." she said.

"No absolutly not." he pulled her up off him and looked straight into her eyes. "No, I promised that officer I would not let you go back onto the streets until I was sure you were better."

"Sam, I don't have a choice. I'm fine okay? Really, I'm okay?" she said

"No you're not Andy, You were raped." he said pulling her face into his hands jerked away from him.

"Just don't say that please. Don't use tht word." she said as the tears started coming again.

"Andy!" This killed him. Seeing her like this, he couldn't do it. Who ever did this to her, he was going to kill.

"Sam, please don't." she yelled. That was the first time he'd ever heard her raise her voice.

"Okay, Okay. Let's not do this now. Okay? Come on let's get you to bed." he pulled her off the couch and led her upstairs to his room.

"You can sleep here and I'll take the couch." he said while pulling out a big baggy t-shirt and a pair of police sweatpants. "You can sleep in this and the bathroom is the second door on the left. Fresh towels are in the closet and I just changed the sheets this morning." he explained before informing her he would be right downstairs in the kitchen.

She stepped into the steaming shower and tried to wash off the days events but she found no matter how much she scrubbed she still couldn't get it off. She thought of Luke, who she still had yet to call. He had probably called her cell phone a million times by now, but she left it at the house, she left everything at the house. Then she thought of Sam, who had so graciously taken her in and taken care of her. Then she thought of her attacker and how he had hurt her. She wondered if she would ever be the same.

A faint knock could be heard at the door, Andy jumped,"McNally, you okay?" Sam asked from outside the door.

She called out, "Yeah. I'm coming out in just a second." she wiped the tears from her eyes and grabbed the towel, she smeared the steam from the mirror and looked at her self. God, she was a mess. Her hair was tangled and now wet and she had bruises down her arms and thighs.

By that time, Sam had enough, she had been in there way too long and he was worried. He knocked gently on the door again and came in.

"Sam, no, please don't come in. Please just go back outside." she tried to cover the brusies the towel didn't .

"It's okay, hey, I was just cheking on you." he cupped her face. "You've been in here for over an hour." She hadn't realized she'd been in here so long.

"Oh, wow, um, I didn't realize." she stated.

"It's okay, i'm going to go out so you can get dressed." he said before shutting the door.

She emerged from the bathroom with Sam's baggy t-shirt and sweat pants that hung low on her hips. Her eyes were still swollen and her hair was wet but she felt better.

"Thank you Sam, I feel much better." she gave him a faint smile. "You know I can take the couch, I don't want to impose or anything." she offered.

"You're not imposing and you are not taking the couch. End of story. Now, take these pills, " he handed her two, "And then bed for you." he said, she laughed, it was the most he seen her smile all day. "Geez McNally, If all I had to do was rhyme to make you laugh I would have tried that hours ago." he smiled and pullled down the covers for her.

She curled into his bed and pulled the coves tightly round her shoulders. "I'll be right down stairs if you need anything Okay?" he kissed the top of her head and hit the lights on his way out.

Just as Sam felt sleep pulling him under, he heard a horrific scream. He jumped from the couch and ran to his room. He saw Andy sitting up with sweat dripping from her forehead and tears running down her face.

"Andy, hey, what happened?" he sat down on the bed and pulled her into his arms.

"Sam, it was horrible. I was back in that house and I saw him and he wouldn't let me go and he kept holding me down." she started sobbing again,Sam tried to make out the rest of what she was saying but he was crying so hard he couldn't understand.

"Andy, stop, sweetheart I can't understand you." she sniffled and shook her head as if to say nevermind. "Hey," he cupped her face. "Talk to me, what happened after that." he knew from experience that talking about what happened helped.

"He held me down and then he hit me and I could feel him pulling off my bra and my shirt and the I felt him pull my pants down and my underwear and it was horrible. I felt him place sloppy kisses all over me and then it happened and I tried to scream but he covered my mouth and then he hit me again and I can't remember anything after that." she said, her tears were falling heavily and he wished he could help her, if there was somthing he could do to make all this pain go away he would do it in a heartbeat.

"Shh, it's okay" he rubbed soothing circles on her back until eventually the tears stopped.

She sniffled and sat up, "I'm so sorry, i'm such a bother and i'm doing all this crying and ruining all of your shirts." she said.

"Andy, I don't mind, not one bit. I lo..." STOP, Sam what the hell are you doing man? Love her. The last time you talked like this you were crushing on Katie Evans in the second grade. "I like you alot and I want to help you, which is why i thought I would call Sarah, see of she maybe wanted to come down tommorow and maybe you could talk to her?' he asked

"Yeah, I think maybe that would help." she replied.

"Okay, I'll call her in the morning, but right now you need some sleep." he instructed, he pulled the covers over her and tucked her in.

He went to walk out but he heard a faint, "Stay" he stopped in his tracks. "Stay, please Sam, I don't want to be alone."

Next Chapter: Sarah comes to Toronto, Sam punches something/someone, and Luke comes home.


End file.
